I truly have a lot to be thankful for in life, but what’s Thanksgiving without a little sarcasm?
Thank you, six-month-old daughter, for still taking the fall as my excuse for being thick around the middle when we all really know it’s my steady diet of cheese.
On that same note, thank you tights I bought before I had children for cutting off my circulation and making it impossible for me to squeeze in a second helping of pumpkin pie.
Thank you, three-year-old daughter, for waking me up at 5:45 a.m. on a Saturday to tell me you slept so well.
Thank you, other person’s child, for aggressively picking your nose at church Christmas program rehearsal, making my own child’s occasional nose-picking seem so much less horrifying.
Thank you, Banana Republic, for finding 9,736 different phrases with which to market dress pants to me. And for sending each in a separate email all within the 30 days.
Thank you, husband, for “helping” put the girls’ laundry away and, in doing so, knocking over a beer that spilled behind their dresser, prompting me to move the dresser to clean where I found a missing sock that had been haunting my dreams.
Thank you, anyone who pages over-head “housekeeping” in the hospital in which I work for making me snicker and make a Tommy Boy reference every time, even if only in my head.
Thank you, box of stuff waiting to be dropped off at Goodwill. You will continue to live out your purpose in life by hogging valuable space in my trunk for months to come.
Thank you, Jimmy Fallon’s Thank-You Notes segment, for being the only possible thing to get this old gal to stay awake past 10 p.m. on a Friday night.
Now, for real, you guys: I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am most thankful for my loving husband, two healthy girls, our extended families, and the great friendships I am so blessed to have. Cheers!