Adventures

10 Things I Learned Flying with a One-Year-Old

My husband and I took our first flight with our daughter when she was eight months old and flew again when she was just over a year old. We definitely intend to continue air travel with our precious little carry-on, but there are a few things we have learned.

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10: Gross things will happen so just get over it now. My daughter loved licking the plane window and found a raisin to eat off the floor. We hadn’t brought raisins.

9: Anyone who plays peek-a-boo with your child on the plane better be committed to continuing the game for the remainder of the flight. This should be announced with the safety instructions before take-off.

8: Every time you go through security, the class clown of the TSA agents will say: “OK, let’s put the baby on the conveyor belt and you can carry the stroller through the gate.” Be nice and chuckle every time.

7: Take a copy of birth certificate to be safe, but you probably won’t be asked to show it. You don’t want to be asked to discard your child in the security line garbage can along with pocket knives and shampoo bottles that exceed TSA size requirements.

6: Check in online before your flight and indicate that you will have a “child on lap” or you won’t be allowed to board with the child. Keep in mind, the term “child on lap” is used loosely as your child will really be anywhere but on your lap: The floor, your shoulders, the aisle, and under the seat in front of you.

5: Your child will poop as soon as the plane leaves the ground. It doesn’t matter if you changed him or her immediately before boarding the plane. There will be poop.

4: Most planes don’t have changing tables. This will necessitate you balancing your baby on the lid of the tiny plane toilet, desperately trying to remove a soiled diaper and replace it with a clean one without. touching. anything.

3: Take two things: A stroller and a diaper bag which doubles as your carry-on or purse. Make arrangements for everything else to be available at your destination. We rented a car seat from the rental car company and made sure to stay at a hotel that had portable cribs.

2: Try to get seated next to a grandma. We lucked out and did a couple of times and these dear women sent from God himself amused our daughter for the majority of the flights. I wish “grandma adjacent” was a request you could mark when booking your ticket, like “aisle seat” or “window seat.”

1: When it’s all said and done, the good times of the trip will outweigh the bad, and you’ll be ready to fly again a few months later.

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Adventures

10 Steps for Using the Bathroom with a One-Year-Old

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Here are the steps for using the bathroom with my daughter’s “help.” It’s not for the faint of heart. Can anyone else relate to my plight?

  1. Shut the bathroom door for some privacy, leaving one-year-old in hall. Meltdown occurs.
  2. Promptly open door and allow her to enter the bathroom.
  3. Sit on toilet and place foot in path between toddler and trash can.
  4. Do your business and use whatever toilet paper is left after toddler has undone the roll throughout the bathroom.
  5. Pull up pants and flush while toddler attempts to splash in toilet.
  6. Wash toddler’s hands.
  7. Wash your own hands while holding the bathroom cupboard closed with your right knee and the toilet seat closed with your left foot.
  8. Make mental note to buy more baby-proofing supplies next time you’re at Target.
  9. Put toddler on floor and hold her between knees while you wash your own hands and she wiggles and wails.
  10. Exit the bathroom with a sigh. By now you have to go again.